Wednesday, December 12, 2007


L was strongly encouraging me to quit my job today, as in immediately. He thinks it's not worth the stress and "why make yourself miserable." What prompted this was I was not very enthusiastic when he asked me to do something for him right after I'd gotten home (understatement). He wanted to know why it upset me so much, and I told him it didn't upset me, I was just tired and the thought of having to drive another hour (in bad traffic) on top of the 40 minutes (in bad traffic) I'd just driven was not exactly thrilling.

I just feel like I should stay through February at least, because of a big project happening in January and February, which some people are counting on my help with it. My best friend at work is also going to be gone for a block of time in there and I've promised her I'd cover for her. So basically, if I quit immediately it really hurts three people, specifically the three people I'm closest to in the whole place. I don't want to put them in a bind which I would if I left now.

What I am thinking about doing is taking one day off a week. My boss wouldn't agree to me switching my schedule to a four-day work week, coming in early and staying later to fit in all my hours, but perhaps I can create my own. If I'm going to be quitting then I'll want to use up my stockpiled PTO time anyway, because they only pay it out at 50% I believe.

We're on vacation all next week, and I'll also take off through the 26th, so I really only have a few more days left in December. And 3 of those 5 days my boss will be gone, so that will help. I know, that makes it sound like I'm a slacker or something who wants the boss gone so I can goof off. Not true, she just exhausts me and/or drives me crazy whenever she's around. And I say exhausts because she is an EXTREME extrovert and I am an EXTREME introvert and when she talks and talks and talks and talks to me about things like what her dog did the night before I want to bash my head against my computer keyboard. She's a wonderfully friendly person who is great at the public side of her job - presentations and things like that - but she just talks endlessly. One of my brothers can also be like that, but with my brother at least I can tell him I need a break from the talking so please let me have some peace. That wouldn't go over so well with her and if I tried it I might no longer have any dilemma on when to quit my job because I'd be fired.

Anyway, I've drifted once again with my post. I think I'm still in the same place: as much as L is encouraging me to just quit because he thinks I'm miserable, I would feel really terrible about putting my friends in a tough spot, so I'm determined to stay through the end of the big project, which will be no later than the end of February. It might even be sooner if we make good progress on it. I'll have a better idea about that once we start in early January.

I am continuing to pray though that God will make it clear to me what I should do about the situation - quit now, quit later, don't quit at all, find a job somewhere else, stay home full-time, find a part-time job somewhere near the house to avoid the commute, etc.


Di said...

Hi Renee, can I encourage you the way you encouraged me, that coming home is the right thing to do?!

I am so sorry that your job is really sucky, and I know exactly how you feel, but if you have an end date, then it makes it easier somewhat. I am only staying at work until March for a couple of reasons 1) we have 2 mortgages to pay for the next couple of months, which we can't do on H's salary alone and 2) my bonus is paid in March (I accrue my bonus Jan-Dec, but it gets paid the following March), and 3)I have a new boss starting imminently, coming over from the US, so I thought it would be nice to settle him in as there is only me and my boss in our dept.

It would be really exciting to share the journey home with you - do you think that God has brought us together electronically to support each other during this time?!

Love Di x

Renee said...

Thanks Di!

Maybe we will end up coming home at the same time - that would be great. I forgot about a financial reason to stay as well - I'll get an extra contribution to my retirement account if I stay through the end of January. You mentioning your bonus reminded me of that, and it is something to think about.

I am very glad we've met electronically!

EdibleEducation said...

Hi - just came upon your post and thought I'd add something...

You said "L was strongly encouraging me to quit my job today, as in immediately."


"I am continuing to pray though that God will make it clear to me what I should do about the situation - quit now, quit later, don't quit at all"

Sometimes we are expecting God to answer our prayers in one way, when He has already answered our prayers.

Sounds like you already have the answer about whether or not you should quit - since that seems to be your husband's desire...

God does tend to direct us in our marriages, through our spouses - primarily a wife, through her husband.

Renee said...

Hi EE -

Thanks for your comment, and sorry it's taken awhile for me to get back to it. When I wrote the post I realized how it sounded, but couldn't quite figure out how to phrase it better. I've asked my husband before if he wants me to quit, and he always just says it's up to me, he'll support me in whatever I want to do. That day was the strongest comment he'd ever made, and it was still just as a question - "why don't you quit?" and I'm sure just from knowing him that if I'd said I was going to, he'd have said "wait, are you sure about this?"

What this has done is make me about 99% certain I will leave the job after the project finishes in February. The many reasons to stay until then, only some of which I wrote, make me really uneasy when I think of leaving before then. I've learned to trust those feelings.

I also really do think that things will be better once we return from vacation. The job really isn't that bad usually; December is usually a more difficult month with end-of-the-year craziness and the seminar I was arranging made it exponentially more difficult. But that is over so I am very confident January and February will be more like the job once was. As in enjoyable and invigorating, not the energy-quenching misery it was for awhile.

I hope this makes sense, although I'm not sure it does. Does it seem like I'm just trying to justify doing or not doing something? I don't think I am, but maybe I'm blind to it.