Sunday, June 7, 2009

Week Thirty-Six

Last of the classes this week with a long one on breastfeeding. I think the most useful part of all of the classes was that L got a lot of info he wouldn't otherwise, and it wasn't just me telling him stuff. The breastfeeding info was pretty much all things I'd read, but L hearing it and learning specifics on what he can do to help me (and why it's such a beneficial thing to do that it's worth the effort) was fantastic.

We met with our doula as well for almost an hour and a half, and she asked me a slew of questions about my goals for having this baby (me: #1 healthy baby & healthy mama. #2 breastfeeding not hindered by anything that could be prevented). I really liked her and am glad I decided to go with a doula & hope that it helps make for a better birth experience.

The big event this week was that the shower with L's family was Saturday (hence the delayed posting). I was about 99% certain that his sister from Las Vegas was going to be there because of some things she'd posted on FaceBook, but what I had NOT known was that she was going to show up at our house with her two kids on Wednesday evening. Shortly afterward I found out that someone else was going to be arriving at midnight & L would be making a run to the airport to pick her up (I was guessing it would be the other sister from Phoenix, but wasn't certain).

I may have never blogged this, but I HATE HATE HATE surprises. I am a planner. I like knowing what's going on.

The above + pregnancy hormones + generally feeling lousy = me in a horrifically bad mood. I knew I was overreacting. I knew they all meant well & all that but I was beyond ticked that L hadn't told me (I know I've told him that I hate surprises). I felt like he was favoring his family over me (ridiculous, I know, but I think the whacked out hormones were not helping me be rational). I was so upset I couldn't even talk to him about it that evening since I was afraid I'd start shrieking or crying and that was not something I wanted to do with 3 visitors in the house. Even him telling me that they were staying at a hotel wasn't appeasing me; I had had my routines disrupted, the house was a wreck & I was embarrassed for it to be seen, and d*mmit, I HATE SURPRISES.

Deep breath.

Lots of prayers that evening/night and next morning, for God to help me get a handle on my out-of-control emotional reaction to something that really wasn't anything as big as I was feeling it to be. And they'd all meant well, just most of them were thinking about what they'd like.

The next day, despite still feeling pretty awful, I was almost delighted to head out for work. I just wished I could have been home alone and rested. That evening I eventually managed to talk to L & explain my feelings & admitted that I knew I was overreacting, but that I was really hurt by having the visitors sprung on me. He quickly apologized and then admitted that two more were arriving the next day - my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were also coming in from Arizona.

I think my prayers worked, along with talking it out with L (that and finally feeling better too) because by Friday afternoon when the final two arrived I was able to enjoy the visitors and not try to fake pleasure at seeing them like I had been doing.

The shower itself was a blast.

And I think L knows, for future reference, that it really doesn't matter if everyone else thinks that a surprise for me would be So! Much! Fun! because it really won't be for me. And if the point of the event is to do something nice for me, a surprise is the last way to go about it.

In other news, the nursery is progressing. And at my 36-week appointment I learned that the baby is definitely head down (yay!), and I'm not dilated at all, but my cervix is "nice and soft." We are getting close!

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