I'm Not Quite as Ready as They Thought

The important summary details: I'm home, and the baby is not here yet. We're both doing well. Lots more details follow...

We arrived at the hospital last night and settled in for our evening induction. After getting settled with a hep lock /soon to be IV, and an hour of monitoring the baby's heartbeat, I received the first of two planned prostin gel insertions. That was lots of fun, but the bigger issue was being so tied down to machines - I had two monitors (baby's heartbeat and a contraction monitor), and the IV fluid line.

That was around 11:15, and then L and I tried to settle in and get some rest before my second gel insertion which was schedule for 4 hours later (i.e. 3:15). Unfortunately, between the straps and lines and beeping and the nurse coming in to adjust the monitors or turn of the IV alarm which kept going off, it made for a very rough night. L was about 5 feet away in the guest area of the suite but the privacy curtain didn't let him miss much of the commotion, so he didn't get a lot more sleep than I did. I think I managed about 1.5 or maybe 2 hours total, split up in 30 minute segments, and he *maybe* doubled that, also in broken up segments.

The second dose of prostin was as effective as the first, which is to say not at all. My cervix didn't budge, and no contractions started.

I expected the pitocin to be started around 7:30, but instead my nurse contacted the doctor and filled her in on the lack of progress. Because my blood pressure had been dropping all evening and was looking great, the doctor was willing to discuss sending me home on strict bed rest instead of continuing on with the induction since apparently this baby wasn't ready to budge.

I was *thrilled* to have that option. After the long night, I was exhausted and hungry and uncomfortable, and labor hadn't even started - I wondered how I'd manage and thought it was just setting up to really make a c-section more likely.

So finally after instructions and an appointment set up for tomorrow morning involving an ultrasound/blood work/blood pressue check/etc, I was sent home.

Where I took a shower and planned to update the blog but instead fell asleep on the couch and have only just woken up enough to write this update. :)

Tomorrow at 11:00 I've got that appointment, and we'll see. I hope that my blood pressure continues to look good enough and he looks good enough that they let me start labor naturally. It's just a real wait and see time.

Oh, and since I haven't said this clearly enough, the only other reason they allowed me to go home was because the baby looked GREAT. He was monitored for around 15 hours at the hospital, plus 2+ hours in triage yesterday afternoon and his heartbeat was always fantastic. I was the one in bad shape yesterday.

I'll try and update tomorrow after my appointment. If nothing else, I've been in text contact with Jennifer and she may be willing and able to put updates in the comments if & when things get started for real.

Thanks everyone for your well-wishes and prayers (and continued prayers.) :) Hope to have good news soon!

Updated to add the super fun chore I do have to do as part of my condition to coming home. Collecting all my urine for 24 hours so they can test it for protein to make sure my kidneys are functioning well. Yes, that's right, I'm collecting my pee. Pee into a "hat" that's set in the toilet, pour it into a measuring cup and record how much I peed and when, and the pour that into the collection jug which is kept in the fridge. Lovely. Fortunately the collection jug is dark so it's not quite as obvious what the jug in the fridge actually contains, but man this is weird. And I'm sure I'm going to love walking into the doctor's office with that jug tomorrow. What a fun prize for them!

Week Thirty-Nine a.k.a This Is It!

Why yes, this post is early. Because it's all I'm going to say about week thirty-nine.

Regular doctor's visit. Uh-oh. High blood pressure. Off to triage at the hospital to monitor me. Several hours later, despite otherwise good labs & test results, the consistently high blood pressure readings are leading them to say this is it.

They gave me a hour or two to come home & get my stuff & then I'm back to the hospital TONIGHT to be induced.

Prayers for a good delivery with a healthy baby & mom would be very much appreciated.

I plan to bring my laptop to the hospital, so tweets might happen to update the situation, but I can't promise anything.

Week Thirty-Eight

This week was mostly a repeat of last week. I'm still just waiting for him to arrive, and wrapping up household & work stuff until then.

We did get our changing table & it's in the room. I got a pad & cover (which is very cute!) and I've even got items in some of the drawers.

It hit me the other day that while we have enough diapers for probably the first two weeks, we had very few wipes, so on our next trip out we got a big tub. I know, you don't have to use them for every change, but still. I'd prefer not to have to make an emergency dash to the store (or send someone else on one) for something like that.

I also got a nursing bra and nursing cami, so I'm content with that until I see what size I end up being. And I got a boppy, but there's still a few things I'd like to get sooner rather than later.

Work is basically wrapped up, with me conceding that I'm just not going to manage to get everything accomplished I would have liked. Since I could not have this baby until 2011 without accomplishing everything at work, I'm content with that. I've only got two days left at work, and I'm only planning on working half days for both of them. A full day just tires me out way too much, so I'll deal with driving in twice. It's kind of a weird feeling knowing that I'm almost done there.

As of Wednesday, I still wasn't dilated at all, but I am about 50% effaced, so that is progress I guess.

We've got the guest room almost as ready as it will ever be, so I don't have to feel bad about the setup when my parents arrive. In a perfect world I'd get a little closet space cleared out for them, but that may not happen. They'll manage.

I've been reading as much as I possibly can, especially of books that either deal with childbirth/breastfeeding/child rearing that may be useful to know soonish, or Christian topics that may be harder for me to focus on after his arrival. Some of the books I'm realizing that I'm skimming too much, so I'm noting them as ones that I want to reread someday. And a couple I even want to purchase. I'll still never get through all the books I've got out from the library, so I'm sure many will be going back unread.

Almost forgot - I didn't truly pack my hospital bag this week, but I did gather most items I'll want and they're all on the top of my dresser, so L can easily scoop them into a bag if it's necessary. A few items are still elsewhere in the house, but they should all be reasonably findable by L if I go into labor too suddenly for me to get them myself (items such as my eyeglasses, iPod & charger, camera, and cell phone & charger.

Updated to add that I did forget to mention the stretch marks that have appeared from nowhere suddenly. And they ITCH. Bad enough that the doctor noticed and recommended hydrocortisone cream (which is not helping much). I'm doing my best not to scratch them, but I'll catch myself throughout the day, and I woke up one morning to discover that I'd apparently scratched them during the night enough to make them bleed. Yuck. It's really not pretty, and I'm glad that I've managed to avoid having L see the mess that is my lower belly. He doesn't need that image in his brain.

To Do before D-Day

Wishful thinking perhaps, but here goes. Some are obviously more important/urgent than others:

Baby Related

• Find a pediatrician
  
• Pack bag for hospital (first, create a packing list so I don't forget anything important)
  
• Send out thank you notes for all baby gifts (these are all done for everything we've received so far; I just know that we've been told there are some additional items on their way to us, so I can't let myself cross it off yet)
  
• Charge batteries for cameras
  
• Wash crib bedding & make up crib
  
• Put together pack & play
  
• Wash clothing & other items we'll use the first month or so
  
• Figure out how to use breast pump
  
• Get some pictures of me (?)
  

Still to Get

• Changing table
  
• Changing table pad & cover
  
• Boppy & cover
  
• Sling
  
• Diaper bag
  
• Cloth diapers
  
• Diaper pail liner
  
• Wet bag
  
• Stroller
  
• Nursing bras or camis or both
  
• Waterproof pads (for crib or wherever)
  
• Wipes
  

Maybe Get?

• Car seat base for my car
  
• Diaper sprayer
  
• Valence or curtains
  
• Car seat protector - one of L's coworkers gave us one unexpectedly!
  
• Swaddler
• Play mat
  
• Bassinet or co-sleeper & sheets (I may have sheets that will fit already thanks to some hand-me-downs. Waiting to see if they work).
  
• Travel swing
  
• Diaper changer kit
  
• Feeding seat
  

House Related

• Call about switching futon order
  
• Pay bills
  
• Caught up on filing (in progress; have it mostly done)
  
• Returns to JoAnn
  
• Returns to Kohls
  
• Returns to Meijer
  
• Returns to WalMart
  
• Mail Reiman return (find invoice first)
  
• Mail package to France
  
• Submit expenses for FSA reimbursement (sent off the physical therapy receipts but can't find the ob receipts. Must look harder. I blame the desk move.)
  
• Donations to library (in progress; made one trip but have another one to do still)
  
• Paper recycling to bin
  
• Office closet organized (i.e. books & supplies stashed!)
  
• Find Lowe's receipt for L to make return
  
• Returns to Lowes (need L's help to carry it)
  
• Clean out fridge
  
• Clean out freezer (didn't get it 100%, but I made progress on it.)
  
• Wash guest room sheets & make bed
  
• Get guest room ready (i.e. move the rest of the baby stuff into the nursery) (in progress)
  
• Mail credit card dispute statement
  
• Buy CD storage things for L
  
• Donations to Goodwill
  

More to be added as I think of it. And hopefully things will get crossed off soon!

Week Thirty-Seven

Not a whole lot to report from this week, just that I'm feeling really big and awkward and alternate between wanting this baby out already to hoping he'll stay put for a while longer because we're really not ready for him.

I guess that's pretty typical.

We ordered a changing table this week after finally giving up on finding one on craigslist. Perhaps if I'd started looking sooner (like perhaps when I first found out?) but by the time I started looking there wasn't as much time to wait for something we liked to appear. At least we got something off clearance so it was cheaper than normal.

There is still a lot of stuff I need (want) to buy before the baby arrives. Like a stroller. And a wrap or sling. And a changing table pad. And maybe a bassinet even? And some cloth diapers. And a diaper bag. And a waterproof pad for the crib/bassinet. And at least one nursing bra. And a boppy. And a diaper pail.

I'm working on my list of things to do before the baby arrives. Ha! There's no way it'll all get done. Perhaps I should post it so everyone can laugh at me.

He's been fairly quiet today, just occasional thumps and bumps, but still enough so that I know he's in there & moving around.

At my last doctor's appointment I found out that I'm still not dilated at all so there was really no change from the week before. But I did find out that I tested negative for group b beta strep, so that's good news.

I keep thinking I should get some pictures of myself. Susan, I really wish you were around to take my picture. :( L is horrid when it comes to photographing me. I could have had his sister take a few while she was here if I'd thought about it.

Week Thirty-Six

Last of the classes this week with a long one on breastfeeding. I think the most useful part of all of the classes was that L got a lot of info he wouldn't otherwise, and it wasn't just me telling him stuff. The breastfeeding info was pretty much all things I'd read, but L hearing it and learning specifics on what he can do to help me (and why it's such a beneficial thing to do that it's worth the effort) was fantastic.

We met with our doula as well for almost an hour and a half, and she asked me a slew of questions about my goals for having this baby (me: #1 healthy baby & healthy mama. #2 breastfeeding not hindered by anything that could be prevented). I really liked her and am glad I decided to go with a doula & hope that it helps make for a better birth experience.

The big event this week was that the shower with L's family was Saturday (hence the delayed posting). I was about 99% certain that his sister from Las Vegas was going to be there because of some things she'd posted on FaceBook, but what I had NOT known was that she was going to show up at our house with her two kids on Wednesday evening. Shortly afterward I found out that someone else was going to be arriving at midnight & L would be making a run to the airport to pick her up (I was guessing it would be the other sister from Phoenix, but wasn't certain).

I may have never blogged this, but I HATE HATE HATE surprises. I am a planner. I like knowing what's going on.

The above + pregnancy hormones + generally feeling lousy = me in a horrifically bad mood. I knew I was overreacting. I knew they all meant well & all that but I was beyond ticked that L hadn't told me (I know I've told him that I hate surprises). I felt like he was favoring his family over me (ridiculous, I know, but I think the whacked out hormones were not helping me be rational). I was so upset I couldn't even talk to him about it that evening since I was afraid I'd start shrieking or crying and that was not something I wanted to do with 3 visitors in the house. Even him telling me that they were staying at a hotel wasn't appeasing me; I had had my routines disrupted, the house was a wreck & I was embarrassed for it to be seen, and d*mmit, I HATE SURPRISES.

Deep breath.

Lots of prayers that evening/night and next morning, for God to help me get a handle on my out-of-control emotional reaction to something that really wasn't anything as big as I was feeling it to be. And they'd all meant well, just most of them were thinking about what they'd like.

The next day, despite still feeling pretty awful, I was almost delighted to head out for work. I just wished I could have been home alone and rested. That evening I eventually managed to talk to L & explain my feelings & admitted that I knew I was overreacting, but that I was really hurt by having the visitors sprung on me. He quickly apologized and then admitted that two more were arriving the next day - my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were also coming in from Arizona.

I think my prayers worked, along with talking it out with L (that and finally feeling better too) because by Friday afternoon when the final two arrived I was able to enjoy the visitors and not try to fake pleasure at seeing them like I had been doing.

The shower itself was a blast.

And I think L knows, for future reference, that it really doesn't matter if everyone else thinks that a surprise for me would be So! Much! Fun! because it really won't be for me. And if the point of the event is to do something nice for me, a surprise is the last way to go about it.

In other news, the nursery is progressing. And at my 36-week appointment I learned that the baby is definitely head down (yay!), and I'm not dilated at all, but my cervix is "nice and soft." We are getting close!

May Books

Tracy Klehn - Prayer Starters for Busy Moms: How to Pray All Day and Still Put the Laundry Away

Chip Ingram - The Invisible War: What Every Believer Needs to Know about Satan, Demons, and Spiritual Warfare

Kerry Madden - Louisiana's Song

Nick Kelsh - How to Photograph Your Baby: Getting Closer with Your Camera and Your Heart

Nancy Leigh DeMoss - Lies Women Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free

Kerry Madden - Gentle's Holler

The 100 Most Important Bible Verses for Mothers

Don Piper with Cecil Murphey - 90 Minutes in Heaven: A True Story of Death and Life

Richard Stearns - The Hole in Our Gospel: What Does God Expect of Us? The Answer That Changed My Life and Might Just Change the World

Jan Burke - Bloodlines

Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice - For Parents Only: Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid

Sheila Walsh - Get Off Your Knees & Pray: A Woman’s Guide to Life-Changing Prayer

Laura A. Jana and Jennifer Shu - Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality

Ann Kroeker - The Contemplative Mom: Restoring Rich Relationship with God in the Midst of Motherhood

Mark Littleton - The Ten-Second Prayer Principle: Praying Powerfully As You Go

Diana M. Raab - Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal

Don Everts and Doug Schaupp - I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus

Mark Bittman - Food Matters: A Guide to Conscious Eating

Ginger Plowman - “Don’t Make Me Count to Three!” A Mom’s Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline

Victoria McKernan - The Devil’s Paintbox

Penny Shore - How Your Baby & Child Learns: Give Your Baby & Child the Best Start

Rennie Airth - The Blood-Dimmed Tide

Kelli B. Trujillo - The Busy Mom’s Guide to Spiritual Survival

Cheri Fuller - When Mothers Pray: The Greatest Influence in a Child’s Life (I think it's now out in a newer edition with a different subtitle)

Penny Simkin - The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and all Other Labor Companions

Ellen Banks Elwell - The Christian Mom’s Idea Book: Hundreds of Ideas, Tips, and Activities to Help You Be a Great Mom

Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, and Janelle Bradshaw - Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and Not Be Overwhelmed

Natalie Bovis Nelson - Preggatinis: Mixology for the Mom-to-Be

Dr. Deborah Newman - Loving Your Body: Embracing Your True Beauty in Christ

Michael Ruhlman - The Reach of a Chef: Beyond the Kitchen

Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn - For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

Bill Dallas - Lessons from San Quentin: Everything I Needed to Know about Life I Learned in Prison

Shaunti Feldhahn - For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

Shannon Ethridge - Completely His: Loving Jesus Without Limits

Stephen Booth - Blind to the Bones